Wednesday, 2 May 2012

Love's Labor Lost....

I often find myself asking, does "true love" really exist nowadays?

Are there really individuals out there waiting to be wooed by a  knight in shining Armour live "happily ever after".

Well, if there are, then they have probably taken shelter under some rock, because all that you get nowadays are women (and men) in search of some sort of a "convenient" relationship.

I took a long hard look around me and even mastered up the courage to ask some close confidants about what they were looking for in their relationship, and why they were in it in the first place.

The first amazing response i got was that this femme fatal was with her boyfriend, because she was "tired of being lonely and being by herself all the time"... and wouldn't a pet have helped here?

A relationship is a combination of many components -love, intimacy, commitment - yet many of us seem to ignore these essential factors of a relationship and instead selfishly, without considering the other person's emotional quotient, enter into one to fulfill our needs.

Another interesting response i got, was emotional support. In this case the woman usually looks for a man that will validate her in every aspect of her life. She is completely insensitive to the man's needs (or in some cases prior commitments - yes, you nailed it!) but will expect him to be there for her, and by her, every step of the way.

The next, i promise you reader, you will find as interesting as i did, "he completes me". How so, by adding some grey into your matter? This came from a highly successful, well-informed, independent, out-going, well-spoken, well-established (OK, I am out of adjectives, and I am sure you get the point) young woman, who gave up everything she had just to turn into lazy and dependent housewife. Sorry no offense intended, but all this sacrifice only so that they could please the societal demands of not being looked upon as a highly- accomplished-but-doomed-for-failure spinster?

And the last; this got my sides cracking when I first heard it, but as i thought more about it, it rang true, and probably as the most popular reason why women opt out of their romantic fantasies and settle for a more economically gainful relationship. According to some, two incomes are always better than one, and provides the financial stability that one cannot get on their own. Dinners at expensive restaurants, designer clothes, nice set of wheels; who needs love when I have GUCCI in my closet?

I am not sure i want to consider those who are co-dependent on their partners to look after them and clean up the mess they leave in their lives and those of others. Drug addicts, physically abusive and alcoholic personalities are often attracted to reckless individuals as they get to play Mum or Dad, and fulfill their desire of being needed and depended upon.

Relationships of convenience can sometimes turn into  ugly games and can end up being very painful for the other partner, who is probably unaware of the situation at hand. On the other hand, if demands are clear from the onset of the relationship, then it could save a lot of heartache and both parties enjoy being in that relationship.

So, what are you looking for?

7 comments:

  1. Certainly, very very heart touching.

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  2. It seems to me that writer has really put her life's true and practical exp. through this blog and it is really something worth appreciating.

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    1. Thank you Mr. Kumar for you comments. Hope you will continue to follow this blog

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  3. You beat me 2 it.. LoL!
    Absolutely true, precise and focused, yet distant, clear and witty take on relationships all over the world. And Yes, its very tiring 2 look 4 this uncertain Knight in so very Shining Armour! Is he real? The wait shakes one's trust on her conviction and at times- Luck! So, why wait eternally in hope of the untrue unrealistic true complete Man, and rather be practical and settle down with a not-so-bad-either compromise of a partner.
    Many walk the less travelled path. But rare are those people.
    Keep writing your views.

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    1. And thank you for your comment.

      That is just it - does he really exist? Should we really wait our lives away for somebody who is a figment of our imagination? But then again, is not life about having the best? So, to settle for second best would be a waste of our lives? I suppose better-second-best-than-none-at-all wins the argument.

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  4. True indeed .......what are we looking for. Many are the times we find ourselves in selfish relationships...there is no Knight in shining Armour....We can only learn through real life experiences

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    1. Amazing, thank you for your comment - i agree, our real life experiences help us decide what we want and do not want out of a relationship, but how many mistakes do we have to make to learn the lesson?

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